Validation or Evolution?

If you’re a logical thinker like me, then I bet you’ve had this same experience I’m going to share with you today!

When I first realized that there was a whole world of personal development and that maybe it could help me create change in my life, the first thing I dove into was books – lots of them. I was living in Houston at the time, working at NASA, and I used to spend my weekend at the Barnes and Noble down the street from my house. I would wander up and down the Personal Development aisles, finding books and bringing them home. I was a studier – I had my highlighter, and I was doing all the exercises diligently.

I don’t know how many books in I was, but at some point I noticed that I was reading the books with an intention of trying to VALIDATE what I was already doing. What I realized within that is this – if I’m just looking for the ways I’m already doing it “right,” I’m not really going to find things I need to change to do better. I had to stop being afraid of seeing where I wanted to grow. I had to stop being afraid of wanting to be better. Having more in life and being a better human, friend, and family member was a great desire, but it also required that I become more honest.

Instead of looking to validate myself, I needed to look at where I could live more into those desires. Was I nice? Yeah, probably. Could I have been nicer? Yes. Can I still be nicer today? Yes. I can still go to another level of kindness. I can go to another level of generosity. Allowing ourselves to be open and honest about where we want to evolve, that allows us to see the things we need to see for it to happen.

So – Do you want to be validated or do you want to have change occur? Ask yourself – really! Letting go of being validated means you’re going to open yourself up to feeling those negative things that we think are bad, like doubt, or fear, or shame. But what I want to bring to your attention is that seeing where we can change doesn’t mean we need to judge ourselves as bad. As I said, maybe I’m a kind person, but I could be kinder. And if I want more of what kindness is going to bring me, I need to be willing to see those places. Being honest doesn’t mean judging; that can be a big roadblock for people.

So, ask yourself that seriously today! Do I want validation or do I want evolution? If you are someone who chooses evolution, let’s stay connected.