How clarity solves expectations
Today I want to share with you how clarity solves your expectations. The reason I'm speaking about expectations is because it has been shown to correlate with our level of happiness. So, where we are with our expectations can impact how we feel.
If we have certain expectations, and the experience falls below, then we tend to be less happy. Or, if we had medium expectations that were overshot, then we're overjoyed!
We all want to experience more happiness. If we really want that, we'll need to look at our expectations. So, we're going to do that today.
I first want to make a distinction between expectations and vision. I am going to encourage you to let go of expectations, but I am not going to encourage you to let go of vision. The difference between an expectation and a vision is really about attachment, and the degree of wishing versus confidence. When we have expectations, it's more of hoping things turn out the way we want them to turn out – we're attached to how it's going to look. A vision is more an experience of life. It does have details, but it is entered into with a confidence about a future. This is the key distinction.
I'm going to cover three ways that you can start bringing clarity in to help solve any problems you are having related to expectations.
#1: Be clear on your priorities versus your time. This one is really speaking about all of our “shoulds.” I can't think of a single day when I didn't have more I wanted to do than time available, at least in the last many years. We always have more we want to do than time available. It's important to take a realistic look at that and say – here are the actual priorities I have, and here's the time that they take. Instead of trying to fill those in to the cracks in our day, those should be the big things that we schedule into our day first. We often have expectations about the things we want to get done in a day, but that's not often based on any clarity of what's important and what time we have available.
#2: Be clear on how you want to interact with others. Our expectations are often ways we want other people to behave. I think it's no surprise to you that that is not often another person's agenda. Where clarity can help you here is that you want to enter into your interactions with others knowing how you want to be and how you want the interaction to go. It is not based at all on how the other person behaves or responds; it's based on what you're going to bring to the situation. That type of focus has much more ability to take you where you want to go than putting an expectation on another person.
#3: Be clear on your measure of progress. I talk to a lot of high performers, and I have many clients who are high performers who, at the end of the day, share this feeling of “I didn't get enough done.” Well, I'm going to go out on a limb here to say we may never feel like we got enough done. What we need to be clear on is what we need to get done to move our important things forward. Those are the things we need to look at. Be clear on how you are going to measure yourself at the end of the day Is there one important thing you want to get done? Is there one way you want to show up in a relationship? I have a fairly involved matrix of how I measure my progress and what things I need to get done in a day. I've gotten clear on what those are, so that my important activities are moved forward. Through this, I feel like I get closer to my vision every day, even if I don't feel like I got enough done.
I want you to know that letting go of your expectations isn't going to turn you into a couch potato. If you're listening to this, then I don't think you're at risk of letting it all go. We high performers have expectations on ourselves that are very, very high. Instead of expectations, I want to encourage you to find clarity.
In closing, I want to also invite you – if you want some partnership in finding clarity, this is what I do with my Certified High Performance Coaching clients. I will offer you a 60-minute strategy session, which you will get a lot out of it whether or not you decide to continue in a coach coaching relationship with me. I want to see people like you moving forward confidently toward their goals and feeling fulfilled.
I invite you to message me or reach out to me through my website beingevolutionary.com, and I would love to talk with you more.