Could your assumptions be sabotaging you?
Today, I want to talk to you about assumptions. If you are a human, assumptions are going to be part of life.
In particular, assumptions will play a part when it comes to reaching those goals we’ve set for ourselves and creating that life we’ve imagined – this is because we’re never going to know absolutely everything! And this is especially true when we are trying to create a plan to go somewhere we’ve never gone before.
So, when there is information or facts that we are missing, we will need to rely on assumptions to fill in those blanks to get started. However, the way that we treat those assumptions is essential to whether we will eventually reach those milestones of success. Today I am going to cover 3 of the main ways we derail our progress through the mistakes we make with our assumptions – and I’ll give you the 3 solutions to those problems.
#1 – We don’t take time to investigate them.
We don’t take the time to learn as much as we can about them. For example, if we want to improve our health and fitness, we might be carrying an assumption about our genetics – but we might view it as a fact. We might think that some of our assumptions are facts, but until we have thoroughly investigated them we must consider them assumptions (no matter how “real” you think they are!). I challenge you to purposely try to find evidence on all sides of the issue. This way, you can use your own logical reasoning to decide what to buy into. You’re here because you are a logical thinker, and if you look through data and information that’s out there, you’ll be able to decide for yourself what you want to consider as your assumption moving forward. Do you want to keep what you have, or do you want to adjust it in some way? If you are thinking that your genetics affect your fitness goals without looking into it generally or related to your specific concern, then you don’t really know! And that could be holding you back from success. Maybe you have an entrepreneurial idea but you have some assumption that you can’t learn what it is you need to know to make that dream a reality. Be very clear that that’s an assumption. I bet you can find someone in a similar situation who was able to achieve success in a similar way. Even small things like communication – are you making assumptions about the motivations of another without asking them if it is true? This first one can really go a long way, and I really encourage you to look at those things. The bigger things you see as limiting you maybe just need to be rechecked as far as their validity.
#2 – We use assumptions to manipulate our emotions.
I see this one on more of a regular day-to-day basis. I’m going to use a very mundane example – driving. Driving is one of my favorite examples to use because for me it brings up a lot of my stuff. It tends to be a place where we become a bit more reactive and it is easier to see some of the patterns in ourselves. Something I have done and that I know many others use, is making assumptions about why other drivers are doing what they are doing. Such as: “Oh that person cut me off because their wife is in labor and they are rushing to the hospital,” or “they are late for a flight” etc. But if you think about why we are doing that, it is to make ourselves feel better about what is happening. If we were to make the assumption that “they’re just a jerk,” that makes us feel one way. But if we make something else up, it makes us feel like we can let go of our anger. Be wary of assumptions that you use to change your emotions. First of all, all these examples are possibilities. What is the point of choosing one of them? Yes, it’s a step up from just being an angry driver. But if you are here with me now, I am assuming you want to make further steps up than that! Go beyond making assumptions to help yourself feel better. In some ways the things I mentioned in #1 are also things we use to make ourselves feel better at times. We do that to give ourselves an out. The solution here is to notice when you are making those assumptions, and address your emotions instead. Being able to process your emotions will skyrocket your success – it is not a very common thing that occurs in the world. People are very reactive, making assumptions, acting out of their frustrations and anxieties. And simply the act of thinking, “let me see what I am feeling and how I can use it in a way that’s helpful.” That will get you so far, SO FAR, in the world!
#3 – We don’t stop and identify them.
I purposely put this one last, because I felt that if I put it first you might not realize some of the assumptions you are making that you hadn’t identified. But I bet that you recognized yourself in some of the examples I gave in the first 2! Realize there are a lot of underlying assumptions. We don’t have to find every single one, but there are some big ones that are really affecting your outcome or how you are approaching your goals. Taking the time to identify these is really going to shift your success. You can do that deliberately, specifically sitting down to consider this. Or you can approach it through noticing the emotional things I mentioned. You can also notice them when planning your goals, as little voices in the back of your head saying why this won’t work out. Bring these all into your awareness. Because once you know what they are, you can check them out and decide whether they should be real or not.
These are your three big derailers (and solutions) when it comes to assumptions. Just like in engineering when we find something is not working out like we expected, the first thing we need to do is check our assumptions. And it is no different with our life. If you are not seeing the results you expect, come back to your assumptions.