Control and freedom

Today I want to talk to you about two topics – control and freedom. They are two ideas, but part of one continuum. Control is one side – when we really want to be the one who makes things happen in a certain way or on a certain timetable. Freedom is on the other side – when we let go and allow. I think a lot of us logical thinkers tend toward the control side!

My mission is to help logical thinkers achieve goals more efficiently – to help manifest those things in life that we think will give us the greatest experience and enjoyment. In order to move to those higher levels of achievement, we need to look at things like this. Where we tend toward control, we might need to adjust toward freedom, or maybe the other way around.

First, control. I want to challenge you to think about something, or several things, that you can back off from your current level of control. Maybe it’s some decisions that your kids are making, maybe it’s coworkers or employees. What are things that really aren’t yours to decide and possibly don’t even affect you? These are great places to start with.

When I first met my wife and we moved in together, we started to see the many things we do differently. It was such an interesting experience! We do have the same world view, but we approach tasks totally opposite from each other. So those conversations we had about loading the dishwasher or whatever it might be, really helped me broaden my perspective. I realized there’s no reason why other ways can’t work, and perhaps, maybe, I didn’t need to be the one deciding everything!

We need to do this more often in our lives. Controlling is never going to give us the best outcome, and it’s never going to give us the best relationships. So where are some places where you can back off your level of control; where is it really not necessary?

Now, freedom. I said that us logical thinkers tend more toward control and I think that’s true. But one of the places that most of us fall into the trap of allowing too much “freedom,” is in our priorities for the day. If you’re starting a day and you don’t know your priorities, then you’re using freedom in the wrong way. (I did a previous post about “going with the flow” that you should definitely reference and look at these ideas together in context.)

In our daily priorities, that’s where we need to have a level of control – called focus! We need to know: What are the key handful of actions I need to take to move my goals and projects along their path today? What kind of mindset do I have to have to reach those goals?

I find that people are too focused on a to-do list and not giving attention to the mindset and the overall project momentum that needs to happen. Mindset can be a conscious part of any activities during the day. And the things you need to do to move something forward need to be just a few things out of the day, not an entire day’s schedule. The day does need some space. This is just that right amount of focus in “controlling” what’s going to happen that day. Lack of this will keep you spinning and prevent you from advancing toward your goals.

That sums up what I suggest you look at today. Where can I pull back control from the things that aren’t really needed to help achieve my goals or that aren’t my decisions? Have I allowed too much freedom rather than consciously directing my plan and mindset for the day?

I suggest that you take a little time to reflect on that now if you have the opportunity. Spend 10-15 minutes brainstorming or journaling on these ideas – you might learn something that will help you in reaching those big goals that you have!