Are you getting true "me time"?

I want to give you a recalibration today of “me time.”

Inevitably, this topic will come up in conversation with the high performers that I coach.

Typically, it's things like, “Well, I don't get enough sleep, I usually spend a lot of time on my phone before I fall asleep in bed.” Or, “I know I could work on that major goal that I have for my personal life in the evenings, but after dinner I just want to sit and chill. I just want to watch TV.”

When I ask more questions about why they are engaging in those particular activities instead of the things that they say they want – like more sleep and time for those personal goals – usually the answer I get is something along the lines of, “I just feel like it's the only time I have ‘me time.’”

Upon reflection, the high performers I talk to know deep down that this is not exactly what we mean by “me time.” I want to bring that topic forward to really think about now.

What we've really come to in terms of what we think of as “me time” is simply time that's not spoken for by our other roles – whether it's a being an employee, a parent, a spouse. Just that in itself doesn't make something “me time!” It's not whatever we do when we have the choice to do whatever we want.

“Me time” should be something that helps you feel more balanced, more filled up, rejuvenated, and more peaceful. So, if the activity is not doing one of those things, then it's not really “me time.” If you thought about what those activities really give you or how they really make you feel, I would doubt that that's one of those things.

My personal experience with time spent scrolling social media or binge watching tv, is that when I do that, typically I feel more defeated and I feel more of a sense of lack – that either I need more or I need to be doing more or what I am is not enough. Or I get extremely irritated by something I read that I feel like is extremely illogical! When I do those activities, I do not feel more peaceful and calm and balanced and rejuvenated. I usually feel drained and defeated, and even a little depressed.

First, think about those things that really do rejuvenate you. What are the activities that help you to feel that sense of rejuvenation and balance? I encourage you to make a list! I'd also actually love to hear some of those things – shoot me a note or comment below, I really would love to hear some of the things that that you do for that sense of renewal.

I also know it's a vicious cycle. So what I recommend is to start small. When you create a little momentum, that choice leads to the next. So instead of thinking about how you want to read a whole novel, just have a book you like by the side of your bed. When you get in at night, pick it up for 10 minutes, it doesn't take a lot. We all could spend 10 minutes doing that instead of scrolling in bed at night and just see where that leads. Maybe it helps you feel more peaceful when you go to sleep, maybe it sparks an idea for you.

Those types of things that fill us up will lead us toward our goals more easily more quickly. Again, part of the definition of high performance is that we're succeeding while maintaining our well being. Having that time for rejuvenation is essential to well being. What are the things that help you have “you time”? Start actually doing those things instead of some of the other choices that might be actually leading to feeling more drained.

I hope that helps you today. If you want some personal attention on any of these ideas, please message me and we can talk about how to do that.